Alya: « I met my love, the person I had dreamed of all my life »

Alya, a student from Ukraine, talks about her experience of living during the war, her search for a safe place and happiness that she found despite the war. Our columnist Iryna Hanenkova recorded her story.

My name is Alya, I am a lesbian.

I met the beginning of the full-scale invasion in a university dormitory in Kharkiv. I’m from Donbas and I’ve already experienced similar feelings in 2014. My family is still under occupation with no way to leave. I didn’t want to be in a similar situation and decided to take action: I went to live with a friend in western Ukraine. After staying there for a while, I realised that it was time to change something and went to work in Poland. It was very difficult both physically and mentally in the new country. I didn’t know anyone and I had the impression that no one needed me there. I had to survive by working 12-hour days with almost no days off.

Everyone determines their own place

After staying in this mode for 3 months, I decided to return home. From then on, everything started to be taxed a little bit. I rented an apartment, found a job in my field of study, registered as an IDP (internally displaced person) and received humanitarian aid. Over the year, I became more confident and matured. I no longer forgot about rest and travelled from time to time. I also enrolled in a course to learn web design. I am currently working on projects for my portfolio.

A year later, I decided to move to Kyiv, where my godmother lived. It seemed to me that this way I would not feel lonely. In Kyiv, I felt more joyful, but at the same time in more danger. The capital is more often attacked. I went to Insight events and received humanitarian aid from them, as well as from Gay Alliance Ukraine and KyivPride. I also met my love in Kyiv. The person I had dreamed of all my life and the one I needed so much at that moment. We started living together and something inside me began to fill up and fall into place.

Don’t look for, live your better life

My girlfriend was very worried about us and our family during the alarms, rocket attacks, etc. So I suggested that we go abroad. That’s how we ended up in Poland, from where we soon returned home. Although the place I consider my home is under occupation and it is not clear when I will return to my small homeland. But it’s so cool to be in Ukraine in a more or less safe city and not think about large-scale problems. People often chase a ‘better life’, forgetting what they really want and what makes them happy. Everyone has their own life and path, and mine is like this.

This is how you can donate

INDIVIDUAL HELP Munich Kyiv Queer has its own fundraising campaign via https://www.paypal.me/ConradBreyer to support queer people in Ukraine who are in need or on the run. Why? Because not all LGBTIQ* are organised in the local LGBTIQ*-groups. This help is direct, fast and free of charge if you choose the option “For friends and family” on PayPal. If you don’t have PayPal, you can alternatively send money to the private account of Conrad Breyer, speaker of Munich Kyiv Queer, IBAN: DE427015000021121454.

All requests from the community are meticulously checked in cooperation with our partner organisations in Ukraine. If they can help themselves, they take over. If the demands for help exceed their (financial and/or material) possibilities, we will step in.

HELP FOR LGBTIQ* ORGANISATIONS To support LGBTIQ* in Ukraine we have helped set up the Alliance Queer Emergency Aid Ukraine, in which around 40 German LGBTIQ* Human Rights organisations are involved. All these groups have access to very different Human Rights organisations in Ukraine and use funds for urgently needed care or evacuation of queer people. Every donation helps and is used 100 percent to benefit queer people in Ukraine. Donate here

VULNERABLE GROUP And here you can find out why queer people in war need our support.

Questions? www.MunichKyivQueer.org/help

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